In-to-me-see. These words can cause the bravest of us to start looking for the exit door. Intimacy can be extremely frightening and uncomfortable, especially for those with unresolved feelings of unworthiness. Some of us would rather do battle than allow anyone to see inside of us.
If I don’t know who I am, I certainly won’t want anyone else peering in. Intimacy means exposing and sharing parts of myself that I am unfamiliar with. It means exposing behaviors that I judge to be weak, needy, unworthy, embarrassing or just plain wrong or bad.
Being intimate means no hiding. It is exposing and being vulnerable which equates to the possibility of being judged.
The next three blog’s are three simple exercises that can be done with a partner or friend.
These exercises can potentially bring up uncomfortable feelings, thoughts and fears. The intention is to allow and also reveal any thoughts, feelings and fears that arise while doing the exercises.
Hugging can be very beautiful and, for some, very uncomfortable. Before beginning this exercise, look at your partner and give them permission to share all of their feelings, thoughts and fears. Your partner is to do the same for you.
This exercise is to be done standing facing each other with your arms around one another. Keep your bodies in contact, heart to heart. Relax and stay present. The intention is to notice whatever arises and to give voice to it. Do not move around, make jokes or become sexual. This is an exercise of getting to know one another more deeply without using sex to distract or hide your self.
It may get uncomfortable but just stay with it and express the feelings as they come up. You may notice a desire to pull away or to talk or your mind will think about other things. These are all distractions to avoid sharing more deeply who you are and discovering your self.
Begin with five minutes of hugging and work your way up to twenty minutes. Remember we all need and want connection whether we are conscious of it or not. It is a basic human need. Hugging without sex will fulfill that need.